Trial lawyer shares 'best comeback' for when someone's yelling at you

Arguments can escalate quickly. One minute you're disagreeing over a small point, and then the next you find yourself in a shouting match. It's an unpleasant situation, one that's best avoided if possible. Thankfully, a lawyer has explained how best to respond when someone starts shouting at you, sharing tips for de-escalating arguments.

The advice was shared on social media byJefferson Fisher, a trial lawyer, communication expert, and host of 'The Jefferson Fisher Podcast'. He's also the author of 'The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More', and he regularly shares advice on TikTok as @justaskjefferson, where he has 1.4 million followers.

Jefferson titled a recent post: "How to respond when someone is yelling at you." He explained: "Number one. Instead of raising your voice and shouting something like 'don't yell at me,' you're going to calmly use the phrase, 'I don't respond to that volume.'

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"You're letting them know they've run into your boundary, telling them I don't allow people to talk to me that way. Number two. Say it at a volume that is below your normal conversational tone, so where I'm right here with you, just give it a little haircut."

The expert demonstrated his example, repeating: "'I don't respond to that volume.' It makes you sound more controlled. It makes them sound less controlled, so to match you, it pulls their volume back down.

"Number three. The slower you speak, the more confident you will sound. One trick is to add pauses around the verb. In this case, respond. I don't respond to that volume, and the slower you speak, the more you take back control."

The video received over 110,000 views and 10,000 likes. One commenter said: "These tips are so helpful. It makes me feel good to remain measured and in control. Thank you for imparting your wisdom."

Another viewer shared: "It works. Learned this from an ER Medical Director I had. This would diffuse even the most obnoxious specialist or patient."

Someone agreed: "I whisper. Shuts it down quick. I love your advice. I honestly need flash cards." A similar reply read: "I love lowering the volume. It works most of time."

A different commenter added: "Great advice on staying calm and handling a tough situation! Responding with patience can really make a difference in defusing tension." Someone else said: "This absolutely works." Another viewer said: "You’ve helped me SO much, I feel confident and more in control, especially when I usually run my mouth."

However, a different commenter suggested: "I find that in situations when someone is yelling at you, they often don't even want to response. They just want to be able to unload and yell, this advice only really works if they need something from me."